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Horse stuff that annoys me...   
09:01pm 17/07/2008
 
mood: annoyed
"Blue" and "Purple" roans. It's false advertising. They are BLACK and BAY Roans, respectively. Oh sure, they might looks bluish or purplish in certain light (or with the right photoshop filter applied), but in real life under the noon day sun, only the very imaginative could still think of them as "blue" or "purple". I'm just about as imaginative as they come, and I can't see it.

What I see is people trying to make a rather unpretty color sexy. While I can't say I outright hate roan, and it certainly would never be a dealbreaker in a horse I liked every other aspect of, it's probably the bottom rung of my color preference list. I think roans just look dirty; not blue, purple, lilac, strawberry or any of the fancy adjectives roan lovers like to use. I'll never see why some people like that dull, washed out look over the bright, glossy solid colors. Probably the same people who'll pay twice as much for jeans that already look worn out, and just like the jeans, each with a fancy designer label.

Purple horse? Bah. I got your purple horse right here:

Unless your horse can compare without photoshopping or light trickery, it's NOT purple!
 
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Dear sweet Epona, somebody HELP!   
09:36am 12/07/2008
 
mood: enraged
Warning: The video below features three horrid individuals brutally mistreating a very cute pony. Try to restrain your urge to get pitch forks and torches.

Does anyone know these little fucktards? Anyone? Please, we need find them, they need to be turned over to the proper authorities, they need to be stopped! The videos are have already be preserved by a third party for evidence, we just need to find out where these little shits live. The little bitch who post this and other videos clearly thinks animal abuse is very funny. As well as three videos of them tormenting this pony, there's also a video of them torturing a cat. Help us find these poster children for really late term abortions. What they deserve isn't legal, but at least they can be made to pay legally!
 
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Help a harpy out! Quick and easy!   
03:14pm 06/06/2008
  Click here please! Don't worry, it's not a scam or anything. It's the horse sim that I play's referral program. You don't have to sign up or anything, just click it once, and I'll get in-game money. If I get enough unique clicks I'll get a free special horse. Thanks in advance! Celano. ^.^

EDIT: Wrong link initially. Fixed now.
 
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That same old ache just keeps getting worse...   
08:26am 29/02/2008
 
mood: frustrated
If I don't get a lot more real live horse in my real live life real damn soon, I think I'm going to rob a fucking bank.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness never wanted to take riding lessons at a *decent* barn. That whole fucking line always struck me as a cop-out anyway, by some who chosen to give up the desire for something the love rather than pine for it.

I choose to pine. The day I quit, I may as well be dead, and probably will be.

*aches*
 
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(Second) LIfe is GOOD!   
03:12pm 26/02/2008
 
mood: cheerful

Yup, yup, yup it is! ^_^
 
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How about a Pretty Horse of the Day?   
09:39am 19/01/2008
  My favorite newly acquired online vice is a little blog known as Fugly Horse of the Day the owner of which loves nothing better than discovering the very worst efforts of backyard breeder and then siccing her posse of rabid followers to rip them new ones. Because, in truth, when you live in a country with a more ponies than homes for them, breeding ugly is wrong.

Of course, looking at FHOTD inevitably leads to a long standing internet vice...staring at shiny ponies which I cannot afford, but enjoy dreaming about. I pick one of the popular horse-listing sites, set the right criteria...basically the horse I might be able to afford/handle if it weren't for all that pesky car payment and that obnoxious need to eat. So, we go for geldings, 6-12 years old, 14-16 hands (Big horses are painful for small people to ride!), at least 800 pounds, under 5K. Oh and let's get rid of all those cow-like, clunky-moving quarter horses and their equally bovine crossbred offspring. You know, you'd be surprised how much ugly that gets rid of! Now if I could just eliminate horses whose main "skill" is Western Pleasure, I could be rid of all peanut-rolling lumps.

As I sift through the results, I find a lot ugly, as well as fairly nice, quiet, humble fellows who would make a perfect companion for a complete novice like myself, but I occassionally stumble over I suspect are real gems...in the rough. Horses that could be very good in the right hands, that unfortunately are not in them at the moment. This fellow, for example:

Shiny, shiny, bargain ^.^

Well, maybe not if you don't have the skill to handle him. Gotta love the current owner's assessment, "He's smarter than I am, needs an experieced rider." Makes me wish I had the cash and the experience.

Maybe one of you guys do instead? ^.^
 
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Applies to human as well as animal friends, if you ask me...   
10:36am 13/01/2008
  Cute little story I picked up from a horse board:
A man was riding his horse down a road while his dog padded along side him. Suddenly the man remembered that he was dead, and that his horse and dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, the travelers came to a high marble wall along one side of the road. At the top of a long hill, the wall was broken by an arch that glowed in the sunlight. When they reached the arch, the man saw a magnificent gate of mother of pearl. The path that led to the gate was pure gold. He nudged his horse toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk.

"Excuse me," he called out. "Can you tell me where we are?"

"This is heaven, sir." The man at the desk answered.

"Heaven...Would you happen to have some water, then?"

"Of course, sir. Come right in." The gate began to open.

"Can my friends come in, too?" the traveler asked, gesturing toward his horse and dog.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept animals here."

The man thought for a moment, then turned his horse back toward the road and continued on his way. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road that led through a farm gate that stood open. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure. There's a pump you can use. Come on in."

"How about my friends here?" the traveler asked.

"There should be a bowl and a bucket by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl and a bucket beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink, then gave some water to the dog while he filled the bucket for his horse. When they had all satisfied their thirst, he led his horse back toward the man who was standing by the tree, with the dog following faithfully behind.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler replied. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad that they use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just grateful that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

~ Author Unknown
 
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Cat lovers, I believe we can all relate to the following...   
07:17am 12/01/2008
  Wake Up Cat
Hehe, thanks for showing me this Kerry! ^.^

P.S: I would have embedded it but LJ apparently doesn't like iframes and the youtube version looks like crap.
 
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Like Royalty...   
11:45am 05/10/2007
  Me and my beautiful friend...If only he wasn't all the way in Illinois. -.-

After all, caring heathen intellectual equestrian furry boys don't exactly just fall out of the sky, ya know!
 
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Miserable decrepit carcass...   
02:18pm 06/09/2007
 
mood: hot
Um brain, why are you wide awake after sleeping just four hours? And body, why are you all hot and achey like it's time to get up? It's most certainly NOT time to get up. We can't work all day on that little sleep! Come on, let's all go back to bed. Brain, there's nothing to worry about. The bills are paid, the brakes are fixed, there's plenty to eat. Body, 74 degrees doesn't usually make you all sweaty. Why is it bothering you now, especially with the fan on? Hell, you were COLD this morning. Furthermore, this is the second day in a row you guys have done this to me. Look, if I take off a blanket and change positions, will that make the two of you happy? Can we try? Let's try. No? Aww geez...you guys know this just going to make us all cranky and sluggish tonight. Isn't work hard enough as it is, even if it's not an office night? Please, can we freaking go back to sleep?

No?

I thought not. *sigh*

*grumblemuttergroan*

*clickwhirrtype*

I thought it was only older people who were supposed to feel like this.
 
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Dancing bears? Hell, we got dancing everything...   
03:53am 03/09/2007
 
mood: cheerful
See?
 
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Ranting about candy...   
05:07am 11/06/2007
  Stop replacing tasty lime flavor with yucky synthetic "green apple" flavor. That vile sweet slop tastes like something cooked up by an inadequate organic chemistry student with defective equipment and tainted chemicals in the lab of an underfunded inner city high school. Really, it's gross. Stop. If I wanted something apple flavored I'd go eat a freaking apple for pity's sake.

Mint is a nasty flavor, and making it stronger doesn't lend it any charm. Really, I think there's something wrong with people who eat Altoids. It's probably the same thing that's wrong with people who eat food that is insanely hot. Their palates must be so numb that the only remaining flavor they recognize is pain. They've even spoiled the flavor of wintergreen this way, and it's the only mint I consider nice. If you want to consume disgusting chalky peppermint thing, go eat a roll of Tums. It'll help your bowl of agony chili and anguish burrito go down.

Nugat is a flavorless, sticky, tooth-ache inducing mess. I can't wait until it goes the way of the dinosaurs. Same goes for very "chewy" caramel. Why would you ever choose to eat a hunk of tasteless sugary glue? Especially as long delicious liquid caramel, softer non-sticky solid caramels and/or Werther's hard caramels exist. All the delicious caramel flavor without the pain or need for surprise dental work.

Never combine peanuts with chocolate again. Really, they just don't taste that good togehter. Make them into peanut butter first. I'm not sure what the difference smushing them up into a paste makes, but it turns a blah combo into a devine one. As for whole nuts, almost any other nut taste better combined with chocolate, especially almonds. :D
 
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Holy Darwin on a velociped!   
02:55pm 01/06/2007
  Once again, I'm a day late, and a dollar short, but what the hell is happening to the internet these days? Everywhere I go, we're censoring this, we're censoring that. In all my favorite places, innocent people everywhere are getting railroaded just because their idea of a good time squicks a few people. It's like V for Vendetta for something. Well, not quite that bad, but what do I have to do, blow up a Virtual Town Hall?

Obstensibly, all this is for the "children". You know what? I'm starting to hate the children. No wait...I don't hate them. Sure I could live without their chatspeak and other silliness, but the kids are by and large all right. It's their whiny, spoiled, neglectful parents I despise. Parents, you squirted out your children, so it's your job to keep them safe. It it not mine or all the other "perverts" out there's responsibility. You're not paying us to babysit, so unless you're willing to start, shut up. If you're really concerned about what your children are doing online, here's a clue: Monitor their activity. All the time, not in the half-assed way that for example, currently allows at least two RL ten year olds have the run of Second Life's FurNation and its population of appealing but often innappropriate cartoon animals.

The thing is, more often it's not really about the children. It about certain squeamish/narrow-minded and/or easily offended adults who spy on others and get huffy when they don't like what they see. The thing is, you have a choice on the internet. You don't have to stay around or keep looking at anything you don't like. Are other users practicing some bizarre fetish in a game that makes you uneasy? Move on to another area. You don't even have to keep playing if you don't want to. Porn pop up on a webpage? Close the window. Don't like so and so's fanfiction or amature erotica? Don't read it! Same goes for message boards and forums you don't agree with. It's just that fucking easy. Don't be a little coward and go whining to the suits about how offended you are and trying to get people in trouble. Really, how old are you, four?

Really, knock it off. Otherwise, there will be retaliation. I promise you that.
 
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And once again...   
06:32pm 19/05/2007
 
mood: crushed
...the horseracing gods have mocked me, as Street Sense loses the Preakess by bob of the head. "Never, never Celano, shall you see a horse win the Triple Crown. Muwahahahaha!"

Bitches. *sigh* Oh well, it was still the most exciting race I've seen in years. :D
 
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If cute could kill...   
09:24pm 18/05/2007
 
mood: cheerful

You'd be dead right now. ^_^

I'm the elegant serval (the kitty). The posh black pony is a friend. We'd just got back from attending a gothic-themed party.
 
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Things to do on Preakness Eve...   
07:42pm 18/05/2007
 
mood: pleased
Check it out! Once upon a time there was a racehorse named Celano :D

Now I wish there was a way to see all of a horse's decendants. Oh wait, there is. Celano (who was a stallion) however, only known to have sired one--Ogunia. After that the line disappears. The weird thing is it shows Ogunia being foaled in 1996--however, Celano wa foaled in 1956, which would make him 40!!!! when Ogunia was born? I'm thinking there's an error somewhere.
 
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Pay no attention to the emo...   
06:30am 12/05/2007
  today the spring makes promises the summer won't keep
the scent of the fragmented forest seduces,
recalling melodies I once knew the words
my heart leaps up
and finds itself still bound
 
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Making deals with the universe again...   
12:57pm 02/05/2007
  Dear Universe,

If I win the lottery tonight, I will buy this horse tomorrow. It will be the first thing I do. Even though I'm not a big fan of roans, or gaited breeds, young green horses and even though he is scraggily, potbellied and looks kind of sick. I will find a nice boarding stable and/or buy a farm. I will hire a quality trainer and an even better riding instructor because if you ask me I probably need more work in that area that he does. Oh, and of course I'll call a vet and get a full work-up and a long-overdue gelding done ASAP.) I will do it because, well dammit, somebody needs to! I'd do it now but there's nothing currently residing in my pockets but lint, and ponies are expensive, and like kids, you shouldn't have them if you can't afford them.

Besides, it looks like there's potential here for something more than a lawn ornament. While I can't actually run my hands over them at the moment, his legs looks straight and clean, and his back offers more of the same. I suspect under that shag there's a pretty head, and with some feeding, good muscle and glorious mane and tail. He could be pretty, he could be happy, he could be a great friend...and right now, he's going for less he's worth a pound. He deserves better. Someone needs to buy him and love that sad look off his face, and it could be me.

Please? He breaks my heart. He looks so sad and dirty and tired and unloved, and he's too young to be feeling that way.

Love,
Celano

P.S: And if it can't be me, could you please see to it he find his way into the hands of someone who'll give him the good life he deserves? Thanks.
 
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I WANT ONE... *drools*   
06:11pm 15/04/2007
   
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What I wouldn't give for plane tickets, a list, and an angry mob in fursuits...   
08:18pm 26/03/2007
 
mood: pissed off
Dammit griefers, quit crashing the Furnation sims! Just quit it. We AREN'T fucking bothering you. We are in our own little world, doing our own little things, NOT BOTHERING YOU. Now go away and leave us alone. Seriously. It's really pissing us off, but aside from that, it's not really accomplishing anything. Eventually the sims come back online, and we go back to doing all those "icky furry things" you hate so much. Which, by the way, are the EXACT same things that go in "human" sims, just with different avatars. Why not go grief them?

Now seriously, get lost, because you might just tick off someone with some actual mad skills into doing something about it, and who knows, an angry mob of fursuiters might show up at you door some dark midnight and kick your ass. And then you're going to have to explain that to the cops. And the ER staff. And your mother. And a lot of other whole lot of other people you'd rather not explain that you got your butt handed to you by Fluffy the fairy wolf (in boths senses of the word) and Sammy the anatomically correct squirrel. And those guys? They're going to take pictures for posterity. And we're going to post them on huge virtual billboards all over FN. And we're going to laugh at you. And laugh and laugh and laugh...and then go back to whatever we like to do when you asshats aren't fucking with our chi.
 
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